Things you've never dreamed of

June 15th, 2014 by Rose

On being sick

I’m one of those people who go a year or two practically immune from the cold then BAM the flu hits me in the face and I’m down for several days. I think the long spell of good health actually works against me because I’m nowhere near prepared when I do get sick.

Since I was housebound for the last couple of days I had to resort to home remedies to make myself feel better. In the interest of science, I present to you my somewhat drug-assisted home remedies in order of “no help at all” to “all of this all the time”:

1. Sleeping it off

This has worked for me in the past for “baby” colds. I’d feel a bit of a cold coming on, have a good night’s sleep and hey presto fresh as a daisy the next day. This doesn’t work for my bi-annual plague. I came home early on Friday, took a sleeping tablet and was all yeah I’ll feel better after 18 hours sleep. Oh no. The onset of a fever meant I was too cold to sleep, then was too hot when the fever hit and couldn’t get comfortable cos my joints ache.

2. Hot water with lemon and honey

Kept me warm but tastes like ass.

3. Tea with honey

Kept me warm and tastes less like ass.

4. Chicken congee

The ultimate comfort food when I’m sick. I don’t expect it to be anything other than bland cos I can’t taste anything anyway and so good on cold winter nights. My go-to food once I feel like eating again.

5. Cold and flu tablets

This sounds really weak but seriously… this shit is the bomb. I normally get the Chemist’s Own day and night flu tablets (found them as I was rummaging through my kitchen drawer looking for paracetamol) and they are the best. Why be stoic, pharmaceuticals are there for a reason.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor so get medical advice and be sensible. Just trust me on the hot lemon and honey, it’s gross.

February 17th, 2014 by Rose

Salamanca Market, Tasmania

So after I posted that last bit of 3pm coffee stream of consciousness I realised I haven’t posted since October last year. Bad Rose, no biscuit. I’ve done stuff and eaten things since then – here’s a really short one just to keep all three of you happy.

I went to Tasmania with Mr Gif in January to attend a wedding. It was a last minute invite (read: mid December) but we were like fuck it, we haven’t been in Tassie yet so we’ll do this thing. Everyone told us to go to Salamanca Market so we did.

Whisky tasting

We started the morning with a bit of whisky tasting cos we’re classy like that. On display here is the Three Capes Whisky and McHenry London Gin from the William McHenry & Sons Distillery. I’ve become a bit of whisky fan over the last year – I like this a lot, but for Tassie whiskies I prefer Nant.

Raspberry danish

“Wtf”, I hear you say. “Did you really just post a half eaten Danish on your blog?”

Well, yeah. Haters gonna hate.

(It was delicious. Look for the Summer Kitchen Bakery)

Tempura mushrooms

This was the highlight of the food there for me – tempura mushrooms. Giant plate for $7. Mr Gif doesn’t eat mushrooms so I got to eat the entire lot. Awww yisss

OK so I did feel a bit sick afterwards.

Wallaby burrito

OF COURSE I HAD TO STOP WHEN I SAW WALLABY BURRITO. This was the Pacha Mama Mexican stall.

Wallaby burrito

I was expecting something quite gamey, but the wallaby meat was tender and quite delicate. Tastes kinda like lamb. I like it. I reckon it’s a good one for people who aren’t too much into (or are new to) game meat.

I’ll eventually write more about Tasmania. Stay tuned for stories of our wild nights out in empty towns.

February 17th, 2014 by Rose

Things I like about hipster boyfriends

(from a shallow, hetero biased, inner-city-dwelling-hipster biased POV)

  • Essentially doubled my wardrobe size
  • Fearless when it comes to bright colours
  • Helpful when trying to put together an outfit
  • Wow I didn’t know that Mac shortcut does that
  • Creative romantic gestures
  • Relatively easy to buy gifts for
October 22nd, 2013 by Rose

Melbourne and stuff

I turned 32 last month. I like to think that I’ve come a long way from last year. With the help of good friends I’ve got my shit (almost) in order, I have a cute little apartment (with a particular emphasis on “little”), and I’m dating someone who’s pretty freaking great.

To congratulate myself on a job well done I booked a weekend away in Melbourne with Mr Gif in tow. We stayed at Hotel Lindrum (which I will recommend forever) where cake and flowers from friends await. The weekend was off to an awesome start, aside from the hangover from the birthday party the night before.

I didn’t take too many photos of the food but here are some I took when I’m not otherwise drunk or feeling too self-conscious.

1/11 Collins St, Melbourne
Chicken tostaditas

Chicken tostaditas with avocado, chipotle mayo and queso fresco. Delicious, crispy, more-ish.


Eat ALL the food – pancita de cerdo (braised pork belly), plaintain crisps, beans and tortillas.


A closeup of the braised pork belly cos I love youse all. The green bits are deep fried parsley, genius. It tastes as good as it looks FYI.

Mr Gif and I went to Mamasita very early on a Saturday – about 12pm – so we didn’t run into the infamous Mamasita queue. Service was great and food was even better. I don’t queue for restaurants anymore cos I hardly find any worth the wait, but I’d line up for Mamasita. Only for maybe 15 minutes, though.

Papa Goose
91-93 Flinders Ln

This was a bit of a weird one. The restaurant was completely empty when we went (admittedly it was at 12pm on the dot since we had a plane to catch), and the only other people to show up were a couple maybe an hour or so after we arrived. The food was great, so could just be a city on a weekend emptiness, idk.

This was our last meal of the trip after a LOT of eating, so we were pretty defeated at this point. Foolishly we still ordered the Sunday roast which was good value at the price of $50 p.p. for two courses (you’ll see why in a minute).


Entree of charcuterie board with pickles and croquettes.


MASSIVE roast lamb with Yorkshire pudding and roasted vegetables. Seriously this would’ve fed about four people it was so big. I almost wish I’d gone to the gym that morning so I’d have more space but, y’know, on holiday and all that.

We also went to MoVida on our first night and The European for my birthday dinner. Both incredible as always.

Mr Gif asked me last night if I’m happy. In short, yes. I’m still stressed out and anxious about a lot of things but really, they’re no big deal now compared to the ball of tightly wound rubber band I was a year ago. It’s amazing what difference 12 months make – here’s to another year of kicking ass.



August 27th, 2013 by Rose

The weekend in haiku

Pimento made this
Amazing arcade table
He’s a genius

Arcade table motherfuckers

Oh but wait there’s more
He also made sausage rolls
Ladies, he’s single

Sossij rolls

Yeah that’s right bitches
Braised pork belly in a bun
Jealous? You should be

Braised pork belly inna bun

Mr Gif chipped in
Made him chop all the chillies
Because I’m a wimp

Motherfuckin chillies

Although, looking back
Wasn’t the best idea
That stuff really burns

July 15th, 2013 by Rose

The weekend went like this


Never enough time.

July 4th, 2013 by Rose

Rozelle Cafe Crawl

It was a dark and rainy day when

The hardest thing about

The road to hell is paved with

Fuck it, am so out of practice. So Sara and I went out to breakfast one Saturday. It was that rainy Saturday a few weeks back – you know the one, the one where you went “aaargh” when you woke up.

The plan was to go to Manly, but we settled for Rozelle as we were both on a quest to find a dress for a 50s night. We hoofed it to La Grande Bouffe first and only just made it in time for breakfast. La Grande Bouffe, being quite civilised, finishes its breakfast service at 11.30am – there are a few all day items on the menu but the options for these aren’t as ridiculously plentiful as the all day breakfasts from most places around here. So with 5 minutes to spare, I ordered:

Oeufs sur le Plat with Wilted Spinach and Truffled Mushroom Duxelles

Oeufa sur le Plat with Wilted Spinach and Truffled Mushroom Duxelles – yeah I totally copied and pasted this from their online menu, you wanna make something of it? Duxelles, if you’ve not had it before, is a sautee of finely minced mushrooms. You may recognise it as one of the primary components in beef wellingtons.

Sara had the croque madame with fried egg:

Croque madame

This filled me with breakfast envy. Even more so after she kindly let me sample it.

Then we went to the vintage clothing store where Sara scored a couple of shiny clutches. Flush with shopping success, Sara suggested that we continue eating the rest of the day. I wasn’t going to say no but the back of my brain did go “hold on, aren’t you going to Tommy’s beer cafe tonight?”

I drowned the concerned voice in sangria and a smoked salmon bruschetta at Rosebud.


Sangria was delicious, bruschetta was only so-so. The last time I was here (granted, it was probably last year), the bruschetta was served with white anchovies and I preferred that version by miles.

Ignoring the increasingly high pitched shrieking of my sense of self preservation, we continued on to Corner Bar, one of my favourite locals. Open for all three meals with WINE (possibly not for breakfast though).

We had:


Pulled pork sliders awwww yeah. These had jalapenos, some sort of spicy mayonnaise thing, cheese and crushed corn chips on top.


Crispy chicken wings with barbeque sauce

Totally as good as they look. They also have one of the best bathrooms I’ve seen, though I have to admit I did wince at the ultra-hipsterness of it all.

We only stopped eating because both of us had dinner plans. I rolled home, took a nap, braved the rain to Tommy’s Beer Cafe and had this:



(Turns out, I’m a bit shit at writing endings to blog posts too)

June 16th, 2013 by Rose

Art and sharks and donuts, oh my

This post is a bit overdue, but well, it’s not like I’m disappointing any readers. I also had a draft of this entry in my head but I forgot to write it down and have had a couple of heavy drinking sessions in the last week so you’re not exactly getting Shakespeare here.

First off, me and Mr Gif (formerly known as Pork Ribs Guy) are a thing. Not sure how this is going to go and how long this will last but I’m trying very hard not to let my neuroses get the better of me. I think I’ll be relatively happy even if it ends tomorrow – it’s been pretty amazing.

To celebrate the Queen’s birthday I had a dirty weekend padded out with some stuff (thanks, Queen!). There was art:


Ryoji Ikeda’s Test Pattern no. 5 at Carriageworks. If you hurry you can still make it – this one finishes up on the 1st of July. Dunno about the other stuff at Carriageworks. One of the installations is a dude in a gold spandex bodysuit undergoing his daily dialysis treatment. Idgi.

Then Mr Gif took me to Sydney Aquarium because I told him I like sharks. Here are some motherfuckin carpenter sharks.


And this here is a fish I can’t remember the name of, but it’s apparently v. poisonous:


That’s pretty much all the photos y’all are gonna get cos the rest of the photos are a bit shit even with heavy GIMPing.

Then in the morning we made some bacon and egg Krispy Kreme roll:


This was his idea, and I fell in love with him that little bit more.

Mmmm sexy:


The best I can say about it is that it’s not as bad as I’d expected. It’s pretty much a sugar coated cholesterol roll so I won’t be making it again anytime soon.

May 27th, 2013 by Rose


Recipe from Grab Your Fork. Thanks for helping me get laid, Helen!

Ribs for your pleasure


May 25th, 2013 by Rose

That thing where you expose just that little bit more about yourself

Cooking for someone I don’t know very well tonight. Don’t know if it’s just me but I feel a bit of anxiety when I have to do this. I mean I know I’ve more issues than a magazine anyways but I guess it’s a thing, right, when you grow up in a family where physical affection is rare so you make up for it with other ways to tell the other person you think they’re pretty swell. E.g. home cooked meals, gifts, monetary bribes, ignoring them for days on end cos you’re awkward with your feelings etc.

Tonight I’ll be making braised pork ribs, noodles and blanched veggies cos life’s too short to make anything more complicated. If it all goes to shit at least the pizza place is just round the corner.