Things you've never dreamed of

June 15th, 2014

On being sick

I’m one of those people who go a year or two practically immune from the cold then BAM the flu hits me in the face and I’m down for several days. I think the long spell of good health actually works against me because I’m nowhere near prepared when I do get sick.

Since I was housebound for the last couple of days I had to resort to home remedies to make myself feel better. In the interest of science, I present to you my somewhat drug-assisted home remedies in order of “no help at all” to “all of this all the time”:

1. Sleeping it off

This has worked for me in the past for “baby” colds. I’d feel a bit of a cold coming on, have a good night’s sleep and hey presto fresh as a daisy the next day. This doesn’t work for my bi-annual plague. I came home early on Friday, took a sleeping tablet and was all yeah I’ll feel better after 18 hours sleep. Oh no. The onset of a fever meant I was too cold to sleep, then was too hot when the fever hit and couldn’t get comfortable cos my joints ache.

2. Hot water with lemon and honey

Kept me warm but tastes like ass.

3. Tea with honey

Kept me warm and tastes less like ass.

4. Chicken congee

The ultimate comfort food when I’m sick. I don’t expect it to be anything other than bland cos I can’t taste anything anyway and so good on cold winter nights. My go-to food once I feel like eating again.

5. Cold and flu tablets

This sounds really weak but seriously… this shit is the bomb. I normally get the Chemist’s Own day and night flu tablets (found them as I was rummaging through my kitchen drawer looking for paracetamol) and they are the best. Why be stoic, pharmaceuticals are there for a reason.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor so get medical advice and be sensible. Just trust me on the hot lemon and honey, it’s gross.