Things you've never dreamed of

June 22nd, 2010 by Rose


Holla, girlfriends and boyfriends!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I started a new job three months ago and it took over pretty much my entire life. I’ve avoided talking about it because I’m superstitious enough to believe that if I talk about my new job before my probation period is over, I’d get fired the next day for whatever reason. I’ve just passed my probation period so I get to say that I kind of like it. Well, it has its moments. Some of those moments even involve me not being stressed as fuck.

The downside of this craziness is that my digital camera has shitloads of photos just sitting there, congealing like yesterday’s oatmeal. I’ll get around to them eventually, but let’s start with my most recent adventure.

A few weeks ago the SO and I took off to Melbourne for a weekend away. It was a much needed break away from everything shitty in Sydney (including the weather, what the fuck Sydney?). It was a very indulgent weekend and I ate too much. I’m just going to jump straight into the food, because I can’t really say too much about the weekend without it being gross TMI. I’ll make do with lots of nudging and winking.

My visit to Melbourne is never complete without a trip to Koko Black. We had the Belgian Spoil, a selection of deliciousness that includes ice cream, chocolate mousse, two filled chocolates, shortbread and a cakey thing.

I also had the hot chocolate. You know what guys, I don’t know. I was slightly disappointed. The hot chocolate was way too sweet, the cake was dry and I didn’t like the chocolates they gave us (everything else was delicious). Maybe I’m just getting older and the taste buds can’t handle sweet things anymore. It’s only a matter of time before I hunch over, age a hundred years overnight and start wearing leopard print capri pants. Not gonna lie, I’m looking forward to my concession bus fares.

For dinner we went to Campari House on Hardware Lane. I randomly found the place through Twitter and thought that I’ll live dangerously and just try it out. Did my gamble pay off? Well.

Entree #1 – eggplant croquette with green chilli and mint relish. The croquettes weren’t hot enough (temperature wise) to taste like it was freshly fried. That’s a minor quibble though, can’t complain about the flavours – it was v delicious.

Entree #2 – cinnamon smoked duck breast with cauliflower puree, “baby onion rings” and curry vinaigrette. I’m the sort who gets terribly grossed out by undercooked poultry and this is the first rare duck I’ve tried that I liked. That said, I couldn’t taste the cinnamon.

The SO’s main – blue eye fillet with fennel and lemon puree, shaved potatoes, herb and citrus salad. Flavours worked well, fennel tasted gorgeous and the salad was zingy and zesty and made sweet music with the other bits on the plate. You’d think that after all of that the dish will be perfect, but no. Fish was overcooked and dry. Not the sort of overcooked that’s “oh it’s just a bit crispy on the end bits”. Just overcooked. Not impressed, guys.

My main, thankfully, was awesome. Spinach and ricotta gnocchi with pickled zucchini, roasted pepper puree and porcini cream. Pickled zucchini is genius and I want more of it in my life.

The star of the meal was surprisingly the side dish – broccolini with gorgonzola sauce. I want to marry this dish then eat it, like newlywed praying Mantii?

Dessert was cinnamon creme brulee with berry semifreddo, orange crostoli and chambord jelly. Didn’t like the crostoli, which had the texture of cold Maccas fries. Loved the brulee (had all the cinnamon flavour the duck didn’t) and jelly. The end.

I also wanted to get shitfaced and had several cocktails. This one came with edible flower:

The menu promised edible flowers (plural), which – while I was drunk – seemed like a really big deal. When I sobered up I realised that I was being a giant wanker and punched myself in the face. Or I would have, but I didn’t want to have to explain the black eye. I’m in enough trouble already because I kept joking to people that my SO keeps my passport so I have to stay home and wash the dishes for him (disclaimer: I have my own passport. The SO’s a very nice man who’s capable of washing his own dishes).

In summary: Food was kind of overpriced but tasted good except for the fish. Did I mention it was overcooked yet?

The next morning we went out, got lost and eventually ended up in Brunswick St., where we tried out Madame Sousou for the first time. I had the baked eggs with creamed spinach and gruyere which is basically made up of butter, cream and cheese – breakfast of champions. I figured that because the cafe made a big deal about being French and chic and everything, the baked egg dish will be more Audrey Tautou than Jean Reno in size.

Again, I was wrong. It was as big as your mom.

The SO had the big breakfast but felt sick halfway through his breakfast from all the butter. I finished my baked eggs. Obviously I am made of stronger stuff. Let’s not worry about the self loathing afterwards.

Here is a shout out to a couple more places in Melbourne I got to try out and loved:

Creperie Le Triskel on Hardware Lane. It was so good that I don’t think I can ever try another crepe place in Australia without being disappointed. I had a crepe with bechamel sauce, mushrooms and spinach. No photos because I was seated inside and felt kind of self conscious.

Tony Starr’s Kitten Club on Little Collins St. The last time I went here a couple years back it smelled like pee due to a malfunctioning bathroom. Now it just smells like a girls’ night out – a heady mixture of sweet alcohol and celebrity perfume. Despite all of that, the staff are absolutely lovely, the atmosphere great and I love the cocktail menu. Food wise, I’ve only been to the cocktail lounge so I can’t say much about the restaurant food, but SO reports that their tapas are brilliant.

I was lucky enough to score an invite to Chocolatesuze’s birthday party/blogger’s meetup a while back and meant to write something about it. Except my camera ran out of batteries after the first photo. Fuck. My. Life. Regardless, it was brill seeing familiar faces and some new ones. Hi guys, hope I didn’t freak you out too much. On that note… I haven’t had much time to read blogs lately but I’ve been very much enjoying The Creamy Middles when I do read it. Not just because Rachel has a mind blowingly awesome coat that I will covet forevermore. As a personal shout out, I want to thank Rita, Grace and Cathy for putting up with my nonsense that evening as I got progressively tipsy.

Now I’m off to sleep and gird my loins for tomorrow, whatever that means.


13 Responses to “Mmmelbourne”
  1. woohoo you’re back and congrats on the end of probation! the baked eggs looks freaking awesome mmm eggs and lol thanks for coming to my partay i super loved your chalkboard!

  2. I love Melbourne, but I’ve never been to any of the places you went to… perhaps I’ll have to remember them for the next time I go (whenever that is!). Haha your chalkboard was hilarious! :D

  3. Hilarious! I’m not sure if the baked spinach is as big as everyone else’s mum, but it’s as big as mine is! Har har!

  4. When you’re escaping Sydney’s weather for Melbourne, there’s something seriously twisted about that. Looks like you had a fantastic time of food though.

    Congrats with making it past probation :)

    I hope “gird your loins” doesn’t mean you’re wrapping a belt around your reproductive organs. If so, kinda begs the question, why :)

  5. Such a funny post! Are there like THREE eggs in that green dish??? Bigger than mum fer sure!

  6. kokoblack is too much for me.

  7. I love how you swear on your blog. My partner will not allow me to use a bad word. I try and sneak a tame one in every now and then. I love Melbourne!!! How good is KoKo Black dude!!!

  8. I have to agree with you on koko black. Shithouse hot chocolate. Next time you’re in Hardware Lane, check out Hardware Societe for breakfast. Super YUM

  9. The gnocchi looked awesome, pickled zucchini and porcini cream, me wants to try :)

    Big congrats on the new job

  10. I’ve heard Madame Sousou is a bit of an institution from my Melbourne friends and that pot of eggs you had is seriously massive stuff.

    Don’t forget the bright lipstick and scary nails to go with the leopard print capri pants! Great to catch up with you again =)

  11. Aw, thanks for the blog lovin’. It was great and very much non-freaky meeting you :)

    And MAN I want those baked eggs on my plate right now! I know where I’m going for breakfast next time I’m in Melbourne!


  12. Congratulations on passing probation!! And all the food from Melbourne looks delicious – I have to say I think I prefer Melb food to SYdney!

  13. End of probation party time? With non-overcooked food perhaps? Just a suggestion. Oh but you have to have edible flowers at the party.

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