Things you've never dreamed of

October 31st, 2010 by Rose

MoVida Aqui, Melbourne

I squandered the afternoon watching Mame on the Nine Go! channel. These are five things that would have been a better use of my time:

1. Look for split ends in my hair

2. Watch Franz Ferdinand clips on YouTube and wonder how Alex Kapranos fit in those pants

3. Make origami cranes out of credit card bills

4. Update long-forgotten blog

5. Throw origami cranes at passing neighbourhood children

I’ve got a backlog of entries that I need to go through, but let’s start with a familiar thumb:

If you’ve been paying attention, that’s the lovely thumb of the equally lovely BusinessClass from my Perth trip. Tired of work and on a mission to find A Dress, we set off for Melbourne one cold September day. Determined to make the most of our time in Melbourne, I looked up a couple of reviews on other food blogs and found a favourable mention of MoVida Aqui on the Jenius blog. I booked a table about a week before we were due to arrive and was only able to get a table at 9:30 PM. I very nearly cancelled, and was really glad I didn’t.

Heavy fog that morning meant that a whole heap of flights were delayed and I arrived about 2 hours later than my original scheduled arrival. BusinessClass and I only JUST made it for our reservation, not helped by Melbourne’s lack of signage and dark alleyways. Note to Sydney travellers: the alleyway it’s on is dark and creepy. Just run with it.

The kitchen was about an hour away from closing and we were kind of rushed to order. I was really cranky at this point and was thinking, well why the fuck would you give us this table if we won’t have any time to even make up our minds? Any irritability was quickly soothed by the sheer number of attractive people staffing the joint. Melbourne, just keep on keeping on. And the food? Well. Best tapas we’ve ever had. I’m sure that being with my bff had a lot to do with it, but we were having foodgasm after foodgasm.

We started off with Anchoa – “hand filleted Cantabrian Artisan anchovy on crouton with smoked tomato sorbet” and a serving of oysters. The anchovies were Out. Of. This. World. BusinessClass and I still shed tears when we talk about the anchovies. The saltiness of the anchovies are offset by the tangy sorbet and the textures are like a party in your mouth where only attractive people are invited and they all want to sleep with you. The oysters were oysters. In hindsight we probably should have had the oysters first. I mean, they’re good, but taste-wise they’re a comfortable house party with your good mates. One of them might want to sleep with you, but they’re too shy to ask.

Anguila – “smoked eel brandada with sorrel and crispy tocino”. Creamy, salty, crispy and oily. You’re back at the anchovy party. Someone in leather pants just bought you a drink.

Sardinillas – “baby sardines on charcoal served with fresh curd and a 65 degree free range egg”. If you’re wondering, this is what a 65 degree egg looks like:

It looks – and tastes like – finding out the person in the leather pants has an identical twin.

Patatas bravas. Let’s not beat around the bush here – they’re fried potatoes. Then again, everyone loves fried potatoes. BusinessClass and I certainly do. It’s not quite the anchovy party, but it was hot, satisfying and delicious. Kind of like your mom

Cerdo – “confit pork belly with dutch carrot salad and quince puree”. The carrots taste minty. Pork belly was as pork belly should be – a layer of crispy crackling, melty fat and soft meat. The quince puree complements the pork belly perfectly. Someone at the anchovy party just suggested a game of nude Twister.

Dessert time! In hindsight, our eyes were definitely bigger than our stomachs – we were really struggling at this point but we weren’t going to leave without sampling dessert. We had Carajillo con Merengada – “coffee rum granite, merengada foam and chocolate truffle” and Ganache – “hot chocolate ganache with saffron sauce, turrone, and anise ice cream”. I liked the granita enormously but the ganache was wayyyy too rich and thick for me. The anise ice cream was sensational though.

Oh, and we had a shitload of sangria. Don’t be fooled by the size of the jug – it looked small when we ordered it but we were plastered at the end of the meal. It was a pretty expensive meal, but who cares? Ambience was great, staff were friendly (and hot), and the food fucking amazing. They let us take our time eating even though they were about ready to pack up by the time we finished our dessert.

We emerged much, much later in the night, bellies full and heads spinning. We heart you Melbourne!

MoVida Aqui
Level 1, 500 Bourke St, Melbourne. (Access via Lt Bourke St)
03 9663 3038 (be prepared to interact with an automated phone system)


9 Responses to “MoVida Aqui, Melbourne”
  1. You got room for any blow ins at this anchovy party?

  2. I went to Movida Next Door recently and it was brilliant. If I had long thumbs, they’d both be pointing up as well!
    PS: Is Mame the movie where her necklaces won’t hang straight because she’s buxom?

  3. Haha, I’ve missed your posts and – in recent times- that thumb as well!

  4. Conor – I thought you said “blowings” and I thought, “of course!”. But a yes to your question, there’s even a selection of leather pants you can try on in the foyer.

    OohLookBel – It’s the one where Lucille Ball was pretending to be a lot younger than she was – not sure if that’s the same one you’re thinking about!

  5. Funniest restaurant review I’ve read in a while, if you have the time, hunt out the Rosalind Russell version of Mame, it’s less annoying and funnier!

  6. All the dishes look and sound delicious!

  7. Food looks awesome, especially the egg with the sardine dish!

    This place has been and still is definitely on my goto list for Melbourne :)

  8. Hilarious! So glad you persisted. : D

  9. Pure gold lady. Dibs on the twin in the leather pants.

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