Things you've never dreamed of

November 11th, 2009 by Rose

Zumbo Macaron Report

I was going to do a blow by blow (I checked Google to see if I’m using this phrase right and one of the first few sites was a blowjob tips site so thought better of it) full on report on all 12 macarons that I got, but thought it was excessive. Plus I’m lazy. So here’s the condensed version.

Remember these suckers?


Last Saturday me, my partner R – I should probably think of a better pseudonym for him sometime – and pimento of nastybun girded our loins and did a taste test of the 12 macarons to see if we can match up the taste to the flavours they’re supposed to be. Some were hits, most were delicious and a couple were a bit on the meh side.


Carrot cake (bruised and battered from journey home)

I don’t even like carrot cake and I love the shit out of this. It has a hint of spice and what is that, cream cheese? It tastes like the real thing, except delicious.

Cherry Ripe

This is what good Cherry Ripes turn into when they die and go to heaven.

Chocolate and red wine

My personal favourite. You can’t go wrong with this flavour combination. The only thing that would make it better is if I had two of them.

Not so great:

Bacon, pancake and maple syrup

Zumbo’s insane genius can only go so far. I can see how the salty-sweet combo appeals to people, but it does nothing for us. I thought it tasted greasy and had a vaguely creepy texture, like that uncle who looks you up and down, lingers slightly longer at your chest and wibbles something about you having grown up so fast.

Notable mention:

Caramello Koala

When I was younger I was obsessed with caramel-filled chocolates. Now I can’t stand the stuff – it’s too sickly sweet for me most of the time. This macaron tasted like how caramel chocolates would have tasted like to me when I was young and had the stomach for 20 billion cups of sugar.

Macarons are deceptively filling, by the way. Don’t eat a big plate of enchiladas before you attempt to eat 12 macarons in one sitting. Well, technically we only had a 1/3 of the macaron each which adds up to 4 macarons each but who’s counting? You’ll still get sick from all the sugar.


One Response to “Zumbo Macaron Report”
  1. LOL I love your description of the Bacon, pancake and maple syrup one! Don’t we all have a creepy uncle! :P

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